“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philippians 3:12 (NIV) I was alone, or at least I felt that way. Women huddled in happy clusters chatting about one thing, th…

“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Philippians 3:12 (NIV)

I was alone, or at least I felt that way. Women huddled in happy clusters chatting about one thing, then another. Some propped babies on their hips. Others clutched Bibles in their hands.

Most wore smiles on their faces. I wore one too. But it didn’t reflect what was in my heart. My upturned lips were simply the camouflage I wore to blend in — to avoid being found out.

What I really wanted to do was run and hide. On the outside I was a normal mom, but on the inside I was a little girl cowering in the far recesses of the playground hoping no one would notice me.

What’s wrong with me? I wondered. Why don’t I feel the joy these other women feel? Where is that “abundant life” Jesus talked about? If I am a new creation like the Bible says, why don’t I feel like one? Why do I continue to act like the same old me, struggling with the same negative emotions and wrestling with the same old sins?

The problem was I was stuck. Yes, I had professed Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But I had a nagging feeling He meant something more than heaven when He said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10b, NIV).

Have you ever watched a circus performer on a flying trapeze? The aerialist grabs the trapeze bar, jumps off a high platform and swings through the air. She swings out once, swings back above the platform and swings out again. During the peak of the third swing, the fun begins for those belo